For some stories, no words can accurately reflect the depth of what is occurring. The experience is beyond language, but the meaning is profound and clear. For me, the experience of being in a relationship with a plant spirit is one of those stories where words fall short.
For many, "relationship with a Plant Spirit" calls for a big fat question mark. This concept can bust the human consciousness and goes beyond imagination. It busted mine!
Noticing the presence of consciousness from a plant spirit can not be understood in a conventional human way. It is a personal experience of the flesh.
Spirit can be an abstract concept. It can be perceived and dealt with in so many different ways. I want to focus on the plant spirit as a partner for an internal healing journey, a catalyst to understanding and ultimately healing the roots of internal disorganization, disconnection, patterns, confusion, and blocks.
The first time I felt the presence of a plant spirit, I was having coffee with my close Peruvian friend and teacher Charo on the patio of her house in Huaraz, an Andean town framed by two majestic mountain chains.
At this point, I have been involved in a small, sustainable-focused social project for three years. Charo was in charge of the local coordination, and I collaborated with her, fundraising and developing ideas on improving the life quality of underprivileged Peruvians.
At this point in my life, the project was my only lifeline. It gave me a glimpse of purpose in a very dark time. The yearning to release this darkness pushed me to ask Charo about Ayahuasca, an ancient brew - the combination of Ayahuasca vine and Chacruna leaves that help to clean body, mind, and heart.
Charo is a nurse who worked closely with the Shipibo community in the Ucayali region in Peru for many years. The Ucayali is the homeland of the Shipibos Konibos, whose healing traditions are based on using Ayahuasca and many other Amazonian master plants. When Charo spoke about the plant, I felt a pleasant opening around my heart, a radiant, expansive sensation. Even though I had never drunk Ayahausca before, the calling of the plant to do so felt like a clear presence within my body. This glow was a body sensation, a knowledge that goes beyond words.
It was the "Knowing" within the Unknown.
A few weeks later, I drank Ayahuasca for the first time in a round hut called Maloka in Iquitos, Peru; Charo was by my side.
After I drank the medicine, I experienced a sense of familiarity, a pleasant memory, and a knowing without understanding cognitively. The body sensation of this memory was so enjoyable. I felt I was being held and understood by a higher consciousness — this feeling was new and familiar at the same time.
There was the clarity that I had nothing to deliver to be held in return.
During the extensive time that I spent in the jungle over the years, I witnessed many people having a similar experience, and also I saw that this didn't happen to everyone right away.
Everyone who works with master plants and Ayahuasca has a unique story of the connection. It is personal, just as every relationship dynamic is unique and evolves. There is no script, no checklist on how to connect.
In addition to Ayahuasca, the Amazon offers numerous plants and trees used during a dieta vegetalista (diet). They can facilitate a more profound healing experience. A master plant diet is a process where the plant spirit connected to the body, mind, and heart helps to clear energetic blocks, stuck feelings, confusion, and trauma memories.
When one follows a master plant diet in the Shipibo tradition, food restrictions and no sexual activities are part of the process. The diet restrictions represent an invitation for the Spirit to enter the body.
To me, diet restrictions are a manifestation of reciprocity.
The plants offer a container for the experience, but everyone is responsible for navigating that experience with their own will to do the work. The plant spirits represent the boat that provides the container to cruise on the stormy waters of the difficulties in life. But it is up to each one to take the oar and to row.
For me, connecting to a plant spirit means reaching out, reaching for healing. Nevertheless, inviting the Spirit into the body can be challenging, especially when there have been struggles and pain, neglect, and betrayal experienced in relationships. That's when the energetic body can be easily fearful and closed off to remain protected. Sometimes it is a big challenge to stick through a time of blocks. In this case, I find it helpful to include the body and to notice where there might be contractions and tensions. Furthermore, it is also helpful to orient to the parts of the body where tension is less noticeable.
The absence of constriction could be the portal to an opening.
At the beginning of my work with master plants, I reached out primarily with my mind, but over the years, I learned to include my heart and body. This way of reaching out feels complete and gives the medicine more opportunity to act.
After experiencing the plant spirit in the hut with Charo for the first time, my relationship with the plants had its ups and downs, blocks and openings, disappointments, misunderstandings, confusion, and revelations. There was also a time when I didn't feel held by Spirit. It seemed that my boat was not intact; it leaked. But that was not the case; this feeling of loss of the Spirit came not from the plant spirit. It came from my idea of a healing schedule and how the plants should help me. I had to let go of the desire of how I wanted to heal and of a "reward fantasy" from the plants—getting caught in some fantasy about what will happen after a healing process is easy. Thoughts like "things will be so smooth" and "everything will just come to me, jobs, love etc" led me away from my body and the present moment.
Once I started including my Nervous System and working on more self-regulation, my relationship with Ayahuasca and master plants shifted significantly. Tracking sensation in the body and focusing on where it feels the most pleasant or most expansive boosted the connection with the plant spirit. The more regulation I could find within my body, the more sensations of connection I could feel. I realized that healing can only happen in the Here and Now and that fantasizing about the future is a distraction or represents an old coping mechanism.
My maestro Ricardo taught me that once you drank Ayahuasca, the plant's Spirit will always stay with you - within your body, which also applies to every master plant.
The plants live within the body it is up to everyone to engage and be active in relationships with them.
The boat the plants offer is robust, and it is up to oneself to move it toward self-exploration and healing.
There are different rowing rhythms, and sometimes it is also necessary to find a haven to rest for a while.
Although each seafaring adventure can embark on different directions and routes, one thing is sure to me:
The presence of the plant spirits can carry one through troubled waters and help one discover how to feel, bit by bit, home within oneself.
If you are working with Ayahuasca or Master Plant Dietas and are looking for support with integration, my brother Markus Drassl and I will hold a small integration support course in the new year.
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